Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are the part of the ceremony where you and your partner express your love for each other and make promises about the kind of marriage you'll have and the partner you'll be. Some couples use traditional vows in their ceremony, while others prefer to write their own. If you're writing your own vows, you've likely realized it's not always as easy as it sounds. You may feel a lot of pressure to include everything you love about your partner or wonder how to phrase certain parts. 

Rather than stress over your vows, use these tips and wedding vows template to get started. 

Why Couples Choose to Write Personalized Vows

Just like personalizing other aspects of your wedding day, many couples choose to write personalized vows to express their unique love. Every couple is different, and writing personal vows allows you and your significant other to pay tribute to your love. This is an opportunity for you to share special details about your relationship and give your guests a deeper look into your love for each other.

While there's nothing wrong with using traditional vows, personalized wedding vows can feel more meaningful since you've added special touches. 

How to Write My Wedding Vows

Writing your own vows involves speaking from the heart and putting it on paper, which can feel daunting. Finding the right words can also be overwhelming with all the emotions leading up to your wedding day. Before you begin writing, you should decide what tone or sentiment you're striving for. For example, you could write funny, religious, simple or romantic wedding vows. Deciding the overall tone for your vows will help you determine what to say.

bride-writing-her-vows

What to Include in Your Vows

Regardless of what tone you choose for your vows, you can follow this wedding vows template for further guidance:

  1. Set the scene: Start by addressing your partner by name and briefly describe how you're feeling, how you got engaged or how you got to where you are now. For example, you could say, "Megan, when I sat behind you on the first day of math class, I never expected you to one day become my wife." Or, "John, I've been waiting for this moment since the day we met." 

  2. What you love about your partner: Next, share what you love about your partner. Consider things like what makes them unique, what you're most grateful for about them, how they inspire you or what your favorite characteristic is of theirs.

  3. What you love about your relationship: Transition into what's special about your relationship. For example, do you share any interests or passions, have a way of reading each others' minds, or is there something else you appreciate about your relationship? This is also where you could include personal stories to highlight your special relationship.

  4. Specific promises: Vows are promises to your partner, so what do you want to promise them in your marriage? Write a few specific promises you intend to keep throughout your marriage. For example, you may promise to support your partner's dreams as your own, always take care of your partner or always be honest and loyal. This is also where you could add some humor. For example, "I vow to always share my fries, even when I don't want to."

  5. Your vision for marriage: Continue your promises to highlight what you see in the future for your marriage. What will you accomplish together? How will you keep the fire ignited after decades of marriage? Consider how you see your marriage looking into the future.

  6. Close with a loving line: You can keep your closing lines simple yet heartfelt. End your vows with a promise of forever and how much you love your partner.

How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?

Typically wedding vows are between one and two minutes long per person, which equates to 150-300 words. They can certainly be shorter, and they can certainly be longer. For example, some religions have very traditional vows and ceremony timelines that take longer than most nontraditional ceremonies. It all depends on how much you want to personalize your ceremony and how comfortable you are professing your love in front of your guests. 

Additional Wedding Vow Tips

Knowing how to write vows is challenging, especially if you don't consider yourself good with words. Here are several additional tips to keep in mind when writing:

  • Don't procrastinate: Nothing is harder than finding the right words to express your love than doing so at the last minute. Give yourself plenty of time to write, edit and revise your vows before your wedding. 

  • Practice reading them out loud: Set a timer and read the vows aloud to yourself or a close friend. This allows you to practice pacing, flow and tone while nailing down the details.

  • Keep them a secret from your partner: Typically, you'll keep your vows a secret so your partner hears them for the first time at your wedding. Chatting with your partner about length and sentiment is still a good idea to ensure you're on the same page.

  • Say, "I love you": Remember to include "I love you" in your vows. Simply saying it in your closing line can go a long way. You'd be surprised at how many couples forget to include this meaningful phrase in their vows.

  • Share personal stories: Your vows will feel much more sentimental with personal moments and stories included. This also gives your guests an insight into your relationship and love.

  • Make real promises: Vows are serious, life-long commitments, so you should make real promises. Some of them can be lighthearted, just make sure you're actually making promises.

When it comes down to it, writing your own vows gives you the freedom to personalize your ceremony to reflect your and your partner's relationship. If you want to include short, simple, lighthearted vows, you can. If you'd rather have long, reflective, romantic vows, you can. It's your wedding day and marriage, so make your vows whatever you want.

Preserve Your Vows Forever With Brighter Lights

There are many ways to preserve your wedding vows, though only one way captures the complete moment. Wedding videography provides a complete glimpse into your big day, even years later. While you can re-read your vows forever, wedding videography captures the moment you both exchanged vows for the first time. It captures the raw reaction, the delivery and the looks you exchange. 

At Brighter Lights, our videographers have the experience and creativity to capture your wedding day in high-quality memories you'll watch forever. Contact us to learn more about preserving your wedding day and to get a personalized quote.


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